Money in relationships can be a maker or breaker.

It can be a real challenge when long held beliefs around money creep into a relationship. As a couple you may have invested a lot of time and effort into making the money side of the relationship work.

It can become difficult when your values are not aligned.

When one of you lives in the moment and your spending reflects it, the other prepares for the future and is always careful with their spending keeping a close eye on the budget.

What happens when the big money decisions are faced?

Many couples struggle to land on the same page when it comes to finances.

A few years ago I met a couple who had managed to save a deposit to buy their first home. We were able to get them in with the help of the first home owners grant and a low deposit, paying lender mortgage insurance.

One of them came from a big family whose parents had lost everything when their business failed. They had to start over and took 10 years to get back on their feet and into home ownership again.

The other came from a family who had challenges with illness, causing their career to be impacted with more time off than working days.

Neither came from a wealthy background and neither had been educated around finance and how to manage money long term.

There was always worry around money but also a sense of defeat. One believed in the ‘You only live once’ mantra and the other wanted to build a strong future for their family. They educated themselves through the Barefoot Investor and managed to save a small buffer to cover home loan repayments when things got tough but rather than reach out for support and continue their financial education, they did only what they had seen their own families do. Sell up.

I’ve seen many couples clash over finances.

Some survive and eventually get on the same page, others can’t seem to compromise and often fail getting ahead.

Money is a team sport when it comes to relationships. The winners play together, communicate well, strategise and win.

What do you do to make money work in your relationship?